Small But Mighty

I was in a baaaad mood today. A really baaaaaad mooooood.

I had made my daughter cry earlier in the day because of a careless word. I was anxious, I was sad, and I didn’t even have a good reason why. I had procrastinated over a simple job that I needed to get done and was determined to get it completed before rush hour, but because of a new traffic pattern and road construction I was now lost, and it was indeed rush hour. All day long intrusive thoughts had been plaguing me, and I was sick of it.

Then I did something. I made the sign of the cross over my forehead. Then I made the sign of the cross over my heart. Then I removed the prayer bracelet from my wrist and moved the knots between my fingers as I drove and prayed, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, the sinner.”

I reached the garden center to do my errand, and by the time I got out of the car, the intrusive thoughts were gone, and I could already feel the dark mood lifting. I walked into the garden shop and was greeted by helpful, cheerful young people who are enthusiastic about plants. I walked among the rows and rows of healthy, hopeful garden plants, and wanted to take them all home to beautify my corner of the world. Classical music was being piped over speakers through the greenhouses. The air smelled like spring.

I returned home, planted my new baby plants, ate a pleasant meal with my girl, and enjoyed some good conversation followed by some healthy time on my own.

But the Jesus Prayer. Those nine words and the sign of the cross were what it took to vanquish whatever was affecting me. The bright, warm spring day could not do battle with the dark cloud of despondency that was pressing down on me, but those nine little words…When I tell you that the relief was nearly instantaneous, I hope you believe me.

There have been times in my life when I have run to Christ for help, but one in particular I will never forget. It was many years before I would ever be aware of the Jesus Prayer, but the effect was the same. One night after I had gone to bed, grief and painful memories that were playing in my head like a movie on a screen had me tossing and turning, unable to sleep. This went on for some time, and I could not escape the thoughts and memories that were causing rivers to run down from my eyes and soak my pillow. Regret, remorse, pain, and shame…all there, playing like re-runs. Suddenly I remembered the verse “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” (Prov. 18:10) I decided to put it to the test. I called out to the Lord from my heart and asked him to remove the thoughts and images that were playing in my head, and immediately I watched a curtain fall between myself and the images that were plaguing me. It was so profound that I could not remember what I had been thinking about. I was so surprised by the immediate effect of this prayer that I even tried to “peek” around the “curtain” to see if I could remember what was going through my head just seconds before. I could not.

I don’t know exactly what this might mean to you, but I write this because I know that I need to be reminded that our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Son of God has mercy on us. He loves us. He protects and cares for us. He is our Strong Tower, and in Him we are safe.

Isaiah 26:3–4

You keep him in perfect peace

whose mind is stayed on you,

because he trusts in you.

Trust in the LORD forever,

for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock. (ESV)